My last post was exactly three weeks ago, which goes to show how lazy I am when it comes to blogging. But I hope you have noticed that I have been faithfully commenting on all your blog posts. So I have very much been around.
One of the reasons I haven't posted is because I don't seem to have much to say. Things have been going fine (thankfully). I consider myself very very fortunate that I have no pregnancy symptoms so far. No sickness so far, and hopefully it will stay that way. Although, the lack of symptoms is also accompanied by this nagging worry if everything is alright. I tried talking about this to one of my friends, and realized that others just won't get it. I tried telling her about how life teaches you so much. I am a worrier in general, but if it were not for the infertility, I think I would have been a lot more worry free about the pregnancy. It took us 1.5 yrs to get here, so I know of a million things that could potentially go wrong. It most probably will be alright, but still. This friend fell pregnant very easily with her child, so its hard to explain why I worry. She thought I was overdoing it (whcih I probably am). I know she was only trying to allay my fears, but at the end of the conversation, I realized that only someone who has gone through IF will understand the fears and the worries.
Luckily, we had a chance to put some of my fears to rest today. We had an U/S appointment with my OB. Everything is looking right on track. We saw the baby move! It was the most wonderful feeling. I know now why every woman is ready to walk to the end of the world and back, just to be able to carry her own child in her womb. I know now why we go through months of painful injections, just to be able to see that little heartbeat, the little limb buds waving at you.
During the U/S, I kept referring to the baby as "he", for no particular reason. My husband wanted to know why I was doing that, and I had no good explanation, except it was just a general reference and seemed easier than saying "the baby". But now I am wondering if I offended the little one in any way. So I have been trying to reassure him/her that all we care is for him/her to stick around and grow well.
There is another point I wanted to discuss. We were asked if we wanted to do the genetic testing/Nuchal testing. We discussed it briefly and decided against doing it. Mainly because this baby is much wanted, and I know that whatever the results of the tests, we are not going to change our minds about anything. My husband said "we will take what is given to us" and I agree wholeheartedly. I know some people like to do it, because it can be so reassuring. And I completely respect that decision. Also, my cousin was telling me about how with her second child, the test came back positive for Downs. They then had to do an amniocentesis, which came back negative. She said it was still a very harrowing time. I don't think I can go through something like that. What do you all think? Would you do it? Like I said before, I completely respect each person's decision, I was just interested to know why you would or wouldn't do it.
Last, but not the least, I'm sending loads of love and good wishes to those of you who are at various stages of their cycle, especially those waiting to start an IVF cycle, or waiting for their beta results (you all know who you are). I am keeping my everything crossed that good news will be yours soon.