Am still around

If any of you have been wondering if the Gulf of Mexico swallowed me whole during my trip to Florida, no it hasn’t. And my silence does not mean I am pregnant, and therefore am waiting for the right moment to announce my pregnancy, either. Our trip was wonderful, and the other two girls who were with us got AF during the trip, so I was blissfully happy knowing that I am not the only non-pregnant person in this world.

I am constantly formulating blog posts in my mind, especially when I am feeling down, and need to tell the blog world that the fertile world JUST DOESN’T GET IT. But I never actually do get around to typing out my posts. I have realized though, that creating a blog post in my mind is a form of therapy for me. Its helps me to reflect and realize that life isn’t that bad after all. One of the reasons I refrain from posting “I am so sad” posts, is because I know there are so many people out there who go through so much more. I live a blessed life - I have a loving family (sans a child, of course), food to eat, a roof over my head, and a healthy body. But all these thoughts are usually shadowed by a constant feeling of general unhappiness that all of you are sure to understand. I do feel guilty and self centered, feeling sorry for myself. But I am entitled to feeling that way, right?

Moving on, my first FS appointment was on Nov 29. We waited 2 hours before I finally got to see him. I feel like I didn’t get much out of the appointment. I realize, though, that this is how it probably works. The doctor turned a large computer screen towards us, and began listing out all the possible treatment options. He had a neat little table with statistics for IUI, IVF etc etc. Basically, he just summarized everything that I already knew, and asked us to decide. I understand that IF is such an abstract problem that you can’t really treat it with specifics. In my mind, I kept wondering why I was paying him 300 $ to hear what I can easily get off his clinic’s website. I do know we have to start somewhere, so this is probably a start. The one thing positive that came from the visit was that  it sort of turned a switch on in my husband. The doctor said something about BD on days 11, 13, 15 etc. And this cycle he insisted we try on those days! I am 99 % sure I ovulated day 12 this cycle, but he insists we continue because after all the doctor said “days 13, 15... and day 12 is just too early”. I think its kinda cute when he takes the proactive role.

I got my blood work done, and my FSH is 9.3 (which the nurse said was higher than normal, but ok). From what I read, I think the slightly higher levels are more important for ovarian response in an IVF cycle. Also, my prolactin levels are high. The normal upper limit is around 24, mine is around 35. I need to go in tomorrow and give a fasting blood sample so recheck the levels. Any ideas what this could mean?

The doctor doesn’t think much of clomid cycles for unexplained, but I feel like I don’t want to go through IUI just yet. After all, almost everyone tries a few rounds of clomid right? Now, the doctor doesn’t want me to do an unmonitored cycle. What do you all think? I don’t like the idea of going in to the clinic multiple times for U/S (and paying 20 $ copay every time!!) just yet. I am sure we’ll have to do it eventually, but not yet. So, I was thinking, 3 rounds of clomid with intercourse. And then, maybe after that we can consider IUI with trigger.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Clomid with or without monitoring? Other than the copay, I think my insurance covers the U/S (thank you the state of Illinois). I would love any advice you have.

I had plans to write a scientific piece about something, but this post is already too long. Maybe next time !