People love doling out advice. Whether it is about career, family, beauty, or relationships, whether you want to hear it or not. I was at the receiving end of advice yesterday, when two of my colleagues caught hold of me. I was in the break room, innocently heating my lunch, when both of of them jumped on me. Their advice? "Keya, you need to have kids, NOW".
First I stared at them, rummaging through my head for a suitable answer. I couldn't come up with anything, so I gave a big smile and asked, "and what made you say that?". Apparently, they were talking about another colleague, who had kids quite late. Their calculation was that when his kids went to college, he'd be around 60+. They thought it was extremely selfish of the parents to wait to have kids. They thought it was unfair to the kids that their parents would be too old to run after them, or interact with them as friends etc etc. Never once did they think about the people who probably had kids late because, maybe, just maybe - they couldn't conceive them any sooner! I preferred not to educate them on this matter, because if I mentioned my situation, then that would become the next topic of discussion for them.
My colleagues also talked about how wonderful it was to become a mother, and how it had changed them. I was awkward the entire time. Little did they know that just wanting kids does not guarantee that you can have a baby. Finally, I wriggled out of the situation by changing the subject and fled from there as soon as I could.
I wish I could explain to people my situation. I wish I had a good answer for them when they asked me when we were going to have kids. I wish I could say to people when they gave out free advice - thanks, but not thanks, this is personal and we'll decide when we want kids.
In other news, I am expected to ovulate any time now, and my dear husband is out of town. He left a few days ago, so there in no point thinking "but the sperm can survive at least 5 days". I doubt he'll be back in time to catch the egg. The sad part is, I will continue to hope and pray the entire two week wait. I know that this may not happen naturally for us, but I still continue to hold on to the hope that maybe a miracle will happen, and maybe we won't need the doctors after all.
Our first RE appointment is on Nov 29th. This will be the beginning of the next phase of our journey. I already feel so exhausted emotionally, I am not sure how I will continue on this journey. From what I know, part 2 is going to be far far more emotionally and physically demanding. I guess we'll just have to wait and see....